


reddish blue colors on your mind

by twoboyskissing



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Asexual Character, Eleanor Calder & Louis Tomlinson Friendship, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Genderswap, Girl Direction, Homophobia, Lesbians, Pining, Trans Character, Transphobia, girl!Harry, girl!Louis, the harry/others is minor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-10 00:19:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5561500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoboyskissing/pseuds/twoboyskissing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>harry has a secret, a few ex-girlfriends who might hate her a little and some sparkly pink boots. zayn, liam and niall worry too much and louis just wants to save everyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	reddish blue colors on your mind

**16-year-old Harry**  


"Harry! Wake up, love. Your girlfriend is on the phone."   
   
Without opening her eyes, Harry knew that her mum had turned on the lights.  
  
"What time is it?" Harry mumbled as she held her hand out to reach the phone.  
  
"A little after seven." Her mother told her and left the room after she made sure that Harry didn't fall asleep again before answering the phone.  
  
" Waking me up at arse o'clock? Did someone die?" Harry said, still not opening her eyes. She could fight the light. She totally could.   
  
"Lovely to hear from you, too, Harry." Taylor sighed.  
  
Taylor wasn't exactly a person to sigh. It was really way too early for that analysis shit that Harry always did . Instead of asking if her girlfriend was alright, Harry mumbled another "hmph" and finally dared to open her eyes.  
  
The moment she did she knew she shouldn't have. The light hurt her tired eyes.

Harry rolled herself on the other side of her bed.

Stupid light.  
  
"We need to talk, Harry. And I'd prefer doing that in person, actually." Taylor said and now Harry was the one sighing.  
  
"You want to meet up and that's why you wake me up at seven on a Saturday? You are kidding me, right?" Harry let her eyes close again.

Taylor knew she wasn't a morning person. How could she do something like this to her? Harry wasn't herself in the morning and Taylor had made some experience with that so she should know.

Shaking her head, even though no one was there to watch, Harry felt a little weird.   
  
"Can you just get over your bad mood and come to mine?" Taylor sighed again. Okay, now Harry was truly worried.  
  
"Whatever. I'll be there in fifteen." They both knew she would be there in thirty.   
  
"See ya." Taylor hang up and Harry yawned. Stupid girlfriends calling early. Maybe she just should have gone out with Zayn instead. Everyone knew that the girl loved sleeping most. Zayn would have never woke her up at this kind of time.  
  
Thinking about it, Harry would probably had never had a chance with Zayn but it was a nice headcanon anyway.   
  
Harry got up and looked for some fresh clothes on the ground of her room.

Harry remembered wanting to clean up yesterday. She must have forgotten.

Dirty, colorful clothes were lying everywhere.

"Great." Harry said to herself while she was grabbing a fresh pink skirt from under her bed.

Then, reaching for a white top from her book shelf, she was almost ready to go.  
  
Harry made her way into the bathroom, greeting her sister who was in the shower, singing.   
  
"You know, it annoys me a lot when you just come in and brush your teeth when I'm naked having a Broadway performance in the shower." Gemma stopped singing for a second and Harry grinned.

"If you want, I can stop brushing my teeth and get naked and join you. Taylor says I have a nice voice. And a nice body, too." Harry joked and laughed as her sister answered, "Keep your lesbianning to yourself, please."  
  
After freshing up, Harry went into the kitchen where her mum was waiting for her.   
  
"What's wrong?" Harry asked while grapping an apple from the bowl on the table.   
  
Her mum gave her a pointed look. "Have you had a look around your room the last few days?"  
  
Harry blushed and shrugged her shoulders.

It wasn't like she didn't want her room to be clean. Sometimes she actually enjoyed tidying up.

It was kind of relaxing.

Though these past few days so many things had been happening: Taylor's birthday party, Niall's football match, a very exhausting Spanish project for her extra class with Liam.

Harry just hadn't found the time for cleaning.  
  
"Will do that right after I've made a quick stop at Taylor's. Love you!" Harry said. After kissing her mum goodbye quickly, she went outside.   
  
The weather was nice, summer had finally arrived. Luckily, Taylor lived near to Harry's neighbourhood so Harry was able to walk there within a few minutes.  
  
Standing in front of Taylor's house, Harry rang the bell.   
  
"Come in!" Harry could hear Taylor shouting from upstairs.

The door was unlocked so Harry made her way up to Taylor's room.

On her way up, she thought about all the possibilities how this visit could turn out.

Maybe Taylor hadn't liked her birthday present? Or maybe Taylor's parents had decided that they had to move? Taylor had been a little strange this morning and Harry couldn't stop to worry.  
  
Shaking her head, Harry stopped in front of Taylor's pink, glittery door. A door that had been full of photos of them together.

There wasn't one single one left of them. Harry didn't know what to think.   
  
She opened the door.

  
When Harry looked into Taylor's eyes, she knew that something had happened.

The way Taylor usually looked at her had changed. Harry had never been a very straight-forward girl but she couldn't stop herself from asking her what had changed.

Her voice trembled. Closing her eyes for a moment, Harry suddenly felt very insecure.  
  
Taylor smiled sadly, watching Harry's every move. Harry got no answer besides that. She tried raising her voice for a second time, this time louder, her voice not trembling like before.

Taylor then raised her eyebrows.

Harry needed only one word from her. One single word would have been enough for her.

There was nothing but silence again.

There were tears building in Harry's eyes.

She really didn't want them to end like this. Not for a reason she couldn't understand, not for a reason she had no knowledge of.

As Harry started speaking for the third time, her hands began to shake. This time she hadn't directed a question at Taylor.

Harry had given herself an answer. She held her breath, looking into Taylor's eyes, waiting for her to say something, waiting for something. Anything.  
  
Something in Harry slowly began to die. She nodded, not knowing what else she could or should do.

Harry turned on her heels and didn't look back at the girl who had been her girlfriend for the past two years.   
  
While she walked towards the door, Harry thought about all the memories they had made.  
  
"I'm sorry, Harry. It's better like this."  
  
She thought about their first hug that had made Harry all happy and giggly. She thought about the first sleepover they had as girlfriends, spending the night cuddling under one blanket together.

She thought about their trips to her father's house. She thought about holding hands with Taylor while walking down the streets.

She thought about the looks some of their friends gave them when they had told them about their relationship.

She thought about talking about marriage and kids and thinking she was the happiest person alive.

 She thought about going to the movies together, crying over bad marks and laughing about getting wet and dancing in the rain.   
  
Then, Harry thought about the things that were going to change now, after they had broken up.

Harry gulped.  
  
"I don't understand." Harry whispered, facing Taylor's door.  
  
"I'm sorry." Taylor repeated herself.  
  
High school sucked.   
**  
21-year-old Harry  
  
** Harry had never planned to leave Cara.

She had their whole future planned in her head: going to university together, getting an own apartment, having two steady jobs, getting two little babies and then living happily ever after together.  
  
Cara had never been the type of girl for marriage.   
  
Harry had loved Cara every single second they had spent together and every single second they had spent apart.

She had never meant to hurt her like this.

Cara would be heartbroken, but so would Harry be. They had known each other for four years. Harry had met Cara almost one year after Taylor had broken up with her.   
  
They had met in a bar on a Thursday school night, Harry still remembered the soft look on Cara's face when Harry had stumbled over her.

They kind of had bonded over Cara bringing Harry back home safe to her parents.  
  
After that night Cara had always been there for Harry, always making sure she was alright and having a good time.

Cara never failed to keep Harry safe.

They had started as being friends but soon Cara had confessed her love for Harry and who was Harry to deny anything to this wonderful, beautiful girl who had made her happy every single day.  
  
They fooled around, they didn't need much more.

One of Harry's dreams had been fulfilled when they had applied to the same university and both got in.

Just when Harry started to think that spending the rest of her life with Cara might be a good idea, Cara had started to want more.  
  
The few kisses here and there, the light touches, those weren't enough for Cara anymore.

She started to touch body parts of Harry, she had never touched before and expected the same in return.

That night in Cara's flat had been the first time Harry had felt uncomfortable being with Cara.   
  
With time, Harry had started feeling very unhappy.

Cara hadn't noticed though or at least didn't seem to notice anything being different than before.

Neither did Harry's friends or her family.

Harry hadn't told them. She didn't want them to worry about her. They had done enough of that since Harry had came out to them when she was 12.   
  
Most of time spending with Cara, Harry had felt like an actress.

It was the best way to handle the situation. At least that was what she had told herself back then.

The acting suddenly stopped when her roommate found her diary. On that morning Harry had rushed out to one of her biology classes. Her diary had been left wide open on her bed.  
  
Everything after that happened very quickly.

Her roommate, Liam, had called her sister, who had called her mother, who had called Harry.

She knew she had to end the relationship. Harry also knew that Cara wouldn't accept her reason for the break-up.   
  
They had been happy, Cara had loved the sex. She wouldn't have believed Harry's reason.  
  
So now there she was, standing in front of Cara's flat, thinking of another reason, thinking of a lie.

Harry rang the bell, standing on her tipsy toes, waiting for Cara to open the door.

Somehow this reminded her of something.

She didn't want to spend a second thinking about it though.  
   
She had to live in the present. She had to face Cara.  
  
"Didn't expect you here before next week. Thought you had exams, darling?" Cara opened the door and smiled at her.   
  
"Needed to talk to you."  
  
"That's what I thought. Come in, Harry," she said and Harry followed her into the kitchen. "You want something to eat? Something to drink? A juice?" Cara winked at her.

Harry slowly shook her head.   
  
Uncomfortable, Harry mumbled a "No, thank you."   
  
"So what's up? Little bit of a surprise seeing you here." Cara smiled and took a step towards Harry.

Whispering a "Missed you." and kissing Harry on her left cheek, she made Harry even more uncomfortable than before.  
  
"What's wrong? Why aren't you talking to me, darling?" Cara raised her eyebrows, surely not understanding what was happening.  
  
Harry needed time to think.

She probably shouldn't have come to Cara before thinking of something she could actually tell her.

Silly Harry.

She had approximately five seconds before Cara would ask another question or would try to kiss her and both of those were things Harry really didn't want to happen right now.   
  
"I don't think this works out." Harry suddenly blurted out.   
  
"What do you mean?" Cara looked shocked. "What are you talking about, sweetie?"  
  
You can do this, Harry thought to herself. Breathing in, breathing out.   
  
"I want to be able to marry the person I love, Cara. Marriage is what I've always wanted. And you-"  
  
"And I don't want to give you that? Are you honestly breaking up with me right now, Harry? Because I think marriage is stupid?", Cara interrupted her, her voice starting to tremble.   
  
"I'm sorry, Cara. Over time I just realised that marriage is too important for me." Harry lied. She didn't dare to look into Cara's eyes, too afraid that she may notice that she was acting again.   
  
"I can't believe this! You can't even look at me. We have been together for almost four years!" she screamed.   
  
Finally looking at Cara, Harry saw tears streaming out of her eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Cara. I didn't want this. I didn't plan this." Harry really meant it.  
  
"I know it's cheesy to say but it is not about you. Your lifestyle is fine, love. I am the weird one. I'm so sorry." Harry said again, trying anything to calm Cara.

It broke her heart, seeing Cara like this.

Harry had truly loved her.

It was clear to Harry, that she herself was the problem. Who didn't want to be touched by her girlfriend anyway? Harry felt so stupid.  
  
"Just go, please. I can't stand seeing you right now." Cara sniffled and Harry nodded. There was nothing else for her to do.   
**  
24-year-old Harry**

On her twenty-fourth birthday Harry had met Eleanor. Nick had dragged her out, telling her to finally have some fun. Harry had given her an annoyed look but followed her anyway.

It wasn't like she hadn't noticed that she hadn't done much with her life for the past three years.  
  
After Harry had broken up with Cara, she had lost a lot of friends.

They had been together for so long that her friends and Cara's friends had started to become one group of friends. When they had heard about the break up from Cara almost all of them had turned against Harry.  
  
Harry knew that they were right, talking about her, whispering and giving her nasty looks when they saw her during classes.

They couldn't understand the reason Harry gave Cara. Some of them told her to never speak to her again.   
  
Harry knew that she deserved it.

She should have thought of a better reason.

She loves marriage, everyone knew that, too but she would never actually have broken up with someone just because they thought marriage was silly.

Though in that moment, standing in front of Cara, she hadn't been able to think of anything else. And she could never have told her the truth.

Cara would have never understand.  
  
Harry hasn't talked to her family much after they had met up after their break up.

Actually, she hadn't spoken to anyone much.

The only people that wanted to keep her around were Liam, Niall, Zayn and Nick.

Liam had not only called her mother on the day of the break up, she also called Harry's closest group of friends for help.   
  
It wasn't like Harry didn't appreciate Liam trying to help her.

She was grateful that she wasn't stuck in a relationship with Cara anymore.

On the other hand she had lost ninety-five percent of her friends and the five percent left plus her family couldn't stop worrying about her.

She was so sick of people worrying about her. Harry wasn't a lost charity case. She didn't need their help.  
  
Liam had only read one page of her diary back then.

Harry had been writing about how she didn't like the way Cara touched her and how there was no way to stop her.

Liam had not read the other pages filled of how Harry didn't like to be touched by anyone. She had got it wrong and after the break up Harry had tried to explain Liam and their friends, also her family.

 They didn't understand her.   
  
That was the reason she hadn't been able to tell Cara the truth.

While trying to explain her situation, Harry's friends and family had started giving her strange looks so eventually Harry had stopped talking.

She gave up on telling the truth.

She made sure that no one of them was left to think that Cara made her do anything she didn't want to.

Harry wasn't the kind of person to spread something like that if it wasn't true.

It really wasn't true.

Cara had been a loving girlfriend who always wanted the best for Harry.

So many people used to be jealous of Harry for being in a relationship with Cara.   
  
It was Harry though. She had been the problem.

She had been the fucked up one. She still was. That's why she was barely going out anymore.

Yes, she had tried dating a few other girls.   
  
There had been Kendall, who wanted to become famous.

There had been Ashton, a girl that spent three months in London for an university project.

Both of them had been lovely. Though after a few weeks in the relationships they wanted to have sex with Harry.

For some time they had been okay with Harry saying that she wasn't ready for that yet, that she had to get to know them better.   
  
Kendall and Ashton both started to become impatient after a while.

Harry couldn't do anything else than break up with them, too.

She hadn't been in a relationship for the past two years now.

Harry had learned that relationships just wouldn't work out for her. The dreams of being married and spending the rest of her life with someone she loves were destroyed.   
  
Harry hadn't been happy for a long time but she tried to live and tried to accept the fact that she would never truly accept herself.   
  
"It isn't too bad, Harry." Nick jolted Harry out of her daydreams.

Harry shrugged her shoulders. The music was loud, people were dancing.

Nick probably didn't know the definition of personal space- she pushed them both into the crowd so that Harry had no choice but to start to dance.  
  
"Happy birthday, love." Nick whispered into her ear and nudged her a little.   
  
"Y'know I'd rather be in my bed right now." Harry rolled her eyes. She really wanted to leave.   
  
"Why do you always have to be such fun killer?"   
  
"Liam and the other ones stayed home, too. Why did we have to go out?" Harry asked.

Her hands were starting to sweat. It was really hot and she couldn't even see the bar.

Something to drink would have been nice.  
  
"You know that they would have loved to go out, Harry. Liam and Niall have a big exam tomorrow and Zayn is having her inspiring artsy phase. Anyway, I am here that should be enough for you!" Nick laughed and grabbed Harry's hands.   
  
"C'mon, let's have some fun. It's your birthday!" Nick was now shouting.

Harry blushed, not wanting anyone to notice her.   
  
"Keep it down, please. I just wanna go home, please." She said but Nick didn't let go of her hands.

"Nope," Nick laughed "There is no way I'm going to let you go home before you at least snogged with one girl tonight."  
  
Harry sighed.   
  
"Do I really have to?"   
  
Nick gave her a strange look. "You don't want to?"  
  
"I'm really tired." Harry said instead of answering Nick's question.

She was actually very tired. She had had her last big exam just a few days before and the weeks of studying had made an serious impact of her sleeping schedule.  
  
"Just one girl, Harry. You'll see, it's gonna be good." Nick nudged her again and smiled at her.

"See that brunette girl?" Nick pointed to an gorgeous girl a few metres away from them.   
  
"Yeah." Harry yawned.  
  
"If you go and talk to her, flirt a little and make out for a while, I'll gladly drive you home immediately after." Nick was grinning now.   
  
Harry sighed again. "Do I really have to?"  
  
"Yes, Harry. You look smashing today. Don't let it go to waste." Nick pushed her towards the brunette girl.  
  
"Alright, alright. I'll go." Harry gave in.  
  
She made her way through a group of people dancing. The brunette girl was standing with her back to Harry alone in a corner in the left side of the club.

Harry looked back at Nick who gave her thumbs up.   
  
Harry breathed slowly in and out and then took another few steps towards the girl.

Her hands started to shake. Harry really didn't want to do this.

Everything she wanted was to lie in bed and sleep for twelve hours straight.  
  
"Hey." Harry said and regretted it.

The girl was now facing Harry.

Her make-up was smudgy and her cheeks were red.

She must have been crying for hours.   
  
"Oh. What- Um. What do you want?" The girl asked, her voice trembling.  
  
Harry felt bad. "Sorry, I just thought your dress looked very lovely on you. It fits your hair very well."  
  
The girl was staring at her. "Th-thanks. I guess."  
  
"Yeah, um. Alright. Are you okay?" Harry asked carefully, hopefully not pushing boundaries too soon.  
  
" I am. I mean, I'm not. But like- It's nothing. You don't have to worry. Just. Um, just had a bad night." The girl tried to smile but failed miserably.   
  
"I think I have to worry, love. We could talk? I've been told I'm a good listener?" Harry told her and gave her an encouraging smile.   
  
"Do you really want to? Don't you have anything better to do?" She asked unsure.  
  
"Nope. I didn't want to be here anyway. My friend dragged me out for my birthday. We could go to this cafe I know. It's only two streets away. Would be much more quiet than here." Harry suggested.  
  
"It's your birthday? You definitely shouldn't be spending your time with someone as boring as I am."   
  
"I really don't care. I just want to help. If that's okay?" Harry smiled at her another time.  
  
"And you want to leave your friend on their own?" The girl asked.  
  
"She will be alright." Harry assured her.   
  
The girl nodded.   
  
"Let's go then."   
  
Harry and the girl made their way out of the crowd. Harry catched Nick winking at her for a few seconds.

She couldn't help but roll her eyes. If Nick only knew.  
  
They left the club together and walked down the street.

Outside it was colder, Harry started to freeze a little.

"I don't even know your name." The girl suddenly whispered.  
  
"And I don't know yours." Harry replied.  
  
"Eleanor Calder."   
  
"Harry."  
  
"Just Harry?" Eleanor laughed.  
  
Harry noticed that she had a nice laugh.

And she could be funny, too.

Harry could imagine being good friends with her.

That was probably weird because they had only known each other for a few minutes but then again Harry had always been the weird one.  
  
"My last name is Styles." She grinned.  
  
"Really? That sounds like a porn star name." Eleanor laughed again.

Harry tried to gave her a pointed look but then had to laugh as well.  
  
"Maybe. A little." Harry said.  
  
"Sorry. Didn't mean to be rude. My best friend's humour has really been a bad influence." Eleanor explained and Harry shrugged her shoulders.

"It's alright. Joking is fine with me. I'm the master of jokes, anyway." Harry told her and Eleanor smiled at her.  
  
"Tell me one then!" Eleanor said as they arrived in front of the small cafe.  
  
"Knock, Knock."   
  
"Who's there?"  
  
"Ice cream."

"Ice cream who?"  
  
"I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!" Harry shouted and ran into the cafe.  
  
Eleanor followed her laughing.

"That one was so bad."   
  
"Why are you laughing then?" Harry asked.

"Anyway, needed to give you some hints that you'll be have the best ice cream experience of your life now."  
  
"Ice cream at nearly two in the morning?" Eleanor raised her eyebrows. "Totally up for that."  
  
They ordered their ice creams and sat down at one of the purple tables.  
  
"It's nice here." Eleanor said.   
  
Harry nodded.  
  
"I used to go here with my childhood friend. She really loved the purple colors. Actually, she sometimes took pictures of the furniture so she could still remember the colors at home." She told Eleanor.   
  
Harry hadn't thought about her childhood friend in ages.

She hasn't been to the cafe in years.

It had been their happy place to go together.

It would have felt wrong to go alone. Harry shouldn't start thinking about that now though.

It wasn't the right time. She was here to talk about Eleanor.   
  
"Seems like something my best friend would do. She loves purple, too. It's kinda crazy, she

s obsessed with a color. But I love her. It's cute sometimes." Eleanor smiled.  
  
"Well, purple is a nice color."   
  
They stayed quiet for a few moments.   
  
Harry stared at her hands, trying to think of a way to start a conversation again.   
  
"So," She said "why are you sad?"

Yeah.

Never been the one to be subtle.   
  
Eleanor was staring at her hands, too.

Her cheeks went a little red and her voice trembled as she spoke, "You genuinely want to know?"  
  
"Yes, Eleanor. I wouldn't be sitting here with you if I didn't."  
  
Another encouraging smile towards Eleanor.  
  
"It's silly though." Eleanor whispered and dared to look into Harry's eyes for a short moment.

There were tears building in her eyes again and Harry couldn't stand it.

She had never been a person to watch someone being sad and to do nothing about it.  
  
"It's not silly if you care about it."  
  
After they stared at each other for a few moment, Eleanor finally said, "I had a fight with my boyfriend. He was actually with me in the club. He left a few minutes before you came over."  
  
"What did you fight about?" Harry asked.  
  
"I told him that I don't like to wear dresses-" Eleanor was briefly interrupted by one of the old staff ladies bringing their ice creams.   
  
"Thank you." Harry said to the old lady and smiled at her.   
  
"You're welcome, my dear. Enjoy your ice cream." The old lady smiled back at her and then went back to standing behind the counter.   
  
"So you fought with your boyfriend because you don't like wearing dresses?" Harry raised her eyebrows.   
  
Eleanor eyed her. "Well, I didn't finish. I told him that I don't like to wear dresses and make-up and heels because it makes me feel girly."

Harry could watch Eleanor's breath hitch while speaking the last part of the sentence.  
  
"Alright. Now I still don't see a reason for a fight? Like who cares if you are wearing trousers all the time? And natural girls are just as beautiful as girls who wear make-up." Harry smiled at her but Eleanor shook her head.  
  
"I haven't been precise enough again. I don't want to wear this kind of stuff because people associate it with being a girl. And I'm a boy."   
  
Harry's smile didn't fade.

"He and his pronouns then? Or what do you prefer?"  
  
Eleanor nodded. Harry made a quick note in her mind to remember that.   
  
 "And he didn't accept that?"  
  
"He said that he isn't gay and that I'm a faggot for even thinking that he would stay with me after I start my transition." Eleanor's voice wasn't steady, his eyes shimmering.  
  
"Hey," Harry grabbed Eleanor's free hand that didn't hold the spoon he used to eat the ice cream.

"He's a fucking asshole. If he meant that, he isn't worth anything."  
  
"You don't even know me, how can you say something like that?" Eleanor asked, letting go of the spoon and brushing away the tears that started to roll over his cheeks.  
  
"Because whether you are a boy or a girl or anything else, you are still a person. And you deserve to be treated like one." Harry squeezed his hand.  
  
"Yeah, I guess you're right." Eleanor smiled at her and squeezed back.

"It is really not like that I don't accept myself, y'know? I'm out to my family. And my best friend, too. I think I was so scared of telling my boyfriend because I knew he wouldn't accept me."   
  
"Believe me, you're better off without a person like him." Harry told Eleanor while eating the last bits of her ice cream.   
  
"Speaking from experience?" Eleanor asked, his tone lighter than before.  
  
Harry swallowed.  
  
"Sorry, that was rude again, wasn't it? I really gotta change my attitude. Louis keeps saying I shouldn't say things that like because it's impolite when she is the one influencing me."

Eleanor sighed.  
  
Harry shrugged her shoulders. "Stop worrying, it's okay. You're not rude."

She smiled at Eleanor. "Louis is your best friend?"  
  
"Yeah. I know I keep talking about how she's a bad influence on me but I honestly love her to death. She's like a big sister to me. Always protecting me."

Harry could see by the look on Eleanor's face how much his best friend had to mean to him.  
  
"That's funny. My childhood friend's name was Louis, too. Now they have two things in common."  
  
"Oh really? What a coincidence." Eleanor grinned and looked at her watch.   
  
"It's really getting late though. I actually told Louis that I'd be home by now."  
  
"You're sharing a flat with her?" Harry asked curiously and Eleanor nodded.

"Yes, we have been living together for almost five years now."  
  
"That's a long time." Harry said and for a little moment she thought back to her once desperate dreams to spend a life time with Cara.

But that was kind of silly. Eleanor and Louis were nothing like them. They weren't in a relationship.  
  
"Yeah. It's nice to have someone around who supports you, y'know?" Eleanor spoke as she stood up. Harry followed her movements.  
  
And Harry thought, no, she didn't really know.

There was no one supporting her.

Immediately, Harry regretted those thoughts.

She really shouldn't think about her friends like that. Harry was the odd one. There was literally no reason for them to support her.   
  
They went to the counter together and paid for their ice creams. They said goodbye to the old lady and went outside.   
  
"A little chilly, isn't it?" Eleanor stared at the sky.

The night was clear, a lot of stars were shining which was rare for nights in the city.  
  
Harry nodded.   
  
Eleanor looked at her again and gave her a smile. "Thank you, Harry. It was really nice to be able to talk to someone."  
  
Harry smiled right back at him. "It was lovely to talk to you, too. If you ever need to talk again, I'm always up for that."  
  
"That would be nice. You want me to give you my number? So we could meet up again?" Eleanor hesitated shortly "I mean, if you meant that."  
  
"Of course. That's a good idea. Don't know why I didn't ask you myself. I'm a little silly sometimes."   
  
Eleanor reached into his purse and fetched out his phone.

He tapped on the screen a few times and then gave it to Harry. 

Harry typed in her name and number and then gave the phone back to Eleanor.  
  
"Please text me. I think you're wonderful and I'd love to be friends with you." Harry said and was a little surprised when Eleanor took a few steps towards her and hugged her for a few seconds.

Harry hadn't been hugged by anyone for a long time.  
  
"I'd love to be friends with you, too, Harry. I'll definitely text you."   
  
They let go of each other.

"Where do you need to go?" Eleanor asked.

Harry pointed in the direction of the opposite where they came from.   
  
"I gotta go back to the club."   
  
"Then we'll part ways now, I guess?" Harry said and Eleanor nodded.  
  
"I'll hopefully see you soon, Harry." Eleanor gave her a quick smile for the last time and then turned her back towards Harry and started walking away.   
  
Harry yawned. It was really getting late.  
  
She started walking in the opposite direction, thinking about how the evening had turned out.

Harry really hadn't want to go out and if someone had told her that going to the club with Nick would had turned out like this, she would have laughed at them.

Now, thinking about Eleanor, Harry felt something that she hadn't felt in a long time.   
  
She wasn't sure what it was yet but she would find out. Harry guessed, someone to talk to wouldn't be that bad.

And Eleanor was a lovely boy. And he deserved all the support he could get.   
  
/*\  


"Tell me everything."  
  
Harry squinted and facing Nick who was hovering over her body.  
  
"What the fuck are you doing?" Her eyes moved to the right, looking at alarm clock on her bedside table.   
  
8:32 am. Great.  
  
"You came home so late that means you had a nice time, right? Good sex?" Nick grinned.  
  
Harry sighed and held her arms in front of her face.

She really didn't want to have this conversation right now. It was way too early anyway.  
  
"How do you know that? You don't even live here!" Harry said, mumbling into her arms.  
  
"Zayn texted me last night. She was just getting ready for bed when you came home."   
  
"Why did Zayn text you?"  
  
"Because I told her to. Needed to know if you got some, didn't I?"  
  
Harry sighed again and finally sat up, pushing Nick out of her way.  
  
"I didn't 'get some' or whatever you think I did last night. I had a lovely conversation with Eleanor though."  
  
"Oh Eleanor was her name? You didn't even snog?" Nick looked at her disappointed.  
  
"His name is Eleanor, yeah. And no we didn't."   
  
"His?"   
  
Harry was too tired to get angry about the look on Nick's face. "Got a problem?"  
  
"Nope, no. Now I get why you wouldn't want to sleep with him though." Nick winked at her.  
  
"What the fuck. Are you serious right now?"   
  
"Well you are into girls, right?" A confused look appeared on Nick's face.  
  
"I can't believe you right now. Just fuck off!" Harry's voice became louder.  
  
"God, what's wrong with you today? It was just a little fun. Calm down." Nick said but after a few seconds of waiting for an response from Harry, he left the room.   
  
Harry closed her eyes for a short moment and took a deep breath.

Her head hurt from sleeping for just a few hours but she couldn't go back to sleep after the argument now.   
  
She looked at the mirror that was hanging on the wall next to her.   
  
Harry looked like shit. She yawned and opened the wardrobe.   
  
Changing her clothes, Harry noticed someone knocking on her door.  
  
"Harry?" Niall's voice seemed worried.  
  
"Coming!" Harry shouted and buttoned up her blouse.   
  
Before she opened the door, she looked at her mirror again.  
  
Better but not perfect.  
  
Harry had no time to do anything about it now though. Niall was waiting for her and she had probably witnessed her fight with Nick.   
  
Harry really just wanted to be alone but that wasn't a possibility when you were living with three other people in a very small flat.   
  
"You look like shit." Niall told her when she came out of her room a few seconds later.  
  
"Thanks." Harry rolled her eyes and made her way into the kitchen.  
  
Niall followed her. "So," She eyed her curiously, "What happened with Nick? Just saw him storming out of our flat a few minutes ago? You guys had a fight?"  
  
Harry took out two plates out of the cupboard.   
  
"You're hungry, right?" She asked while looking for the eggs in the fridge.  
  
"'Course I am." Niall sat down at the kitchen table.  
  
"Doesn't mean I don't want to know what happened with you and Nick though."  
  
"Doesn't matter." Harry mumbled and grabbed a pan.   
  
"C'mon, Harry. I know you're tired and stuff but I know you. You want to talk about this."   
  
Harry had to stop herself from rolling her eyes again. Yeah, of course. Niall knew her 'so well.'   
  
"Harry, please."   
  
"The eggs are gonna take a while." Harry told her.  
  
Niall sighed and mumbled something that Harry couldn't understand.  
  
"What's up?" Harry started up.  
  
Liam had entered the kitchen.  
  
"Why is everyone always up so early in this household?" Harry whispered to herself.  
  
"Zayn isn't awake yet though." Liam had probably heard her.

Oops.   
  
"Harry doesn't want to tell me why she had a fight with Nick." Niall pouted.   
  
Harry gave her an angry glance. Did she really have to mention it while Liam being here.

Liam would never stop asking her about it if she didn't tell them.  
  
"What happened with Nick, love?" Liam asked confused.

Taking a few steps towards Harry and stroking her arm, she looked up to Harry like a lost puppy.   
  
"It's not important, Liam." Harry said, "Do you want some eggs for breakfast, too?"  
  
"That'd be great, thanks." Liam nodded and Harry grabbed another plate from the cupboard.  
  
"Please talk to us, Harry." Liam said after a few seconds of watching Harry making breakfast for them.  
  
Harry shook her head.

She really didn't want to have this conversation.

They probably wouldn't understand. Harry was too tired and didn't want to fight again.   
  
"We love you and we want the best for you. Please let us help." Liam said, her voice trembling.  
  
Harry looked up from watching the eggs, seeing that Liam had tears in her eyes.  
  
"Liam, don't cry." Harry bit down on her lips.   
  
Fuck. She really had to mess everything up. It wasn't her friends' fault that she felt so weird about herself.   
  
Harry really hadn't meant to hurt Liam.  
  
"Payno, you're not really crying right now, are you?" Niall said.  
  
Liam shrugged her shoulders and whipped a tear away.   
  
"Can't help it."   
  
"It was a stupid fight, it doesn't matter. You shouldn't care about this."  
  
"Why did you fight though? Was it because he dragged you out on your birthday? We just wanted you to have a good time for once!" Liam explained.   
  
Harry sighed, putting the now finished scrambled eggs on each of their plates.   
  
"I didn't want to go out though. And I don't know why y'all couldn't respect that." Harry hadn't meant for her voice to sound so harsh and she immediately regretted saying those words.

She knew that her friends wanted the best for her.   
  
They just didn't know that what they thought what the best is for Harry, wasn't what Harry needed.  
  
"I'm sorry." Harry apologised, looking into her friends' sad faces.   
  
"It's okay. We shouldn't have pushed you into this." Liam said.  
  
"Okay, let's forget about it and eat, alright? I'm really getting hungry over here." Niall smiled at Harry.  
  
"Yeah, I'm quite hungry, too." Liam eyed her and Harry knew that the conversation wasn't over.   
  
She could probably relax for a few hours but Liam would come up to her again, she was sure.  


*/*  
  
After breakfast and a bit of awkward chatting, Harry went into her room. She couldn't stand her friends eyeing her anymore.   
  
Harry fell down on her bed, grabbing her phone.   
  
A notification popped up, saying that she had two new messages.  
  
Curiously, Harry opened whatsapp.   
  
She hadn't texted anyone and the only ones she ever texted were Liam, Niall, Zayn and Nick. And if it was a message from Nick he could gladly fuck off.   
  
**9:15am unknown > Harry  
**_hey harry! it's eleanor from yesterday (today)i was wondering if u are free today?? i know it's early but i gotta talk to someone  
  
_**9:18am Nick > Harry  
**_im sorry for saying shit and stuff. forgive me? xx  
  
_ Harry sighed. She really didn't want to talk to Nick anytime soon. He could wait.   
  
Harry saved Eleanor in her contacts and texted back.  
  
**9:30am Harry > Eleanor  
**_i'm free! where and when? xx  
  
_ It was weird. Harry hadn't met up with anybody in so long. She hadn't hung out with her friends in forever.

Making breakfast for them didn't count.   
  
**9:31am Eleanor > Harry  
**_asap? at the cafe again maybe? it's a place we both know_

**9:31am Harry > Eleanor **  
_i can be there in 20?xx  
  
_**9:32am Eleanor > Harry  
**_see you then!!  
  
_ Harry smiled at her phone. It was weird but it felt kind of good. Friendship could be a nice thing, Harry decided.   
  
A knock from outside the door interrupted her thoughts.  
  
"Harry?"   
  
Zayn.  
  
"What's wrong?" Harry opened the door, looking up and down at a very sleepy Zayn.  
  
"Can I sleep in your bed?" She asked and Harry's face softened.   
  
"Of Course. I have to get going now anyway." Harry patted her on the back and Zayn nodded thankful.  
  
Zayn laid down on her bed while Harry grabbed her purse and keys.  
  
"Sleep tight, love." Harry whispered and switched off the lights.  
  
Harry left the room quickly after that, not hearing Zayn's mumbled words, "Where are you going though? You never go out."  
  
In the hallway, Harry put on her pink boots.   
  
"Pinky dinky." Harry whispered to herself while rubbing over her left boot. It must had gotten a little dirty on her way back home yesterday.  
  
After the boot seemed clean, Harry smiled at her feet for a few seconds. She really loved those boots. They made her feel all pretty and precious.   
  
Harry went outside after she checked her phone again.  
  
No new messages.  
  
She was ready to go.   


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Louis will be in chapter 2 :)


End file.
